Look your best on a vacation: The best women’s going out tops for summer 2013

When you go on a summer vacation you feel incredible. Your body feels healthier, your skin is glowing, and your inner being is beaming with positivity. So, when you go on a night out you definitely want to take advantage of this. All you need to do is team your gorgeous skin and beautiful smile with some trendy clothing and you can guarantee all those Spanish men will be whistling your way! Take advantage of the top trends in women’s going out tops for summer 2013 to ensure your suitcase is filled with fashion.

Get graphic

No, this doesn’t mean you should walk down the street with nothing on. Get graphic with your prints. There are some fantastic going out tops that feature bold, exciting, and unusual prints. Leopard print soared to the height of fashion several years ago but since then prints have taken on a new lease of life. Think paisley, mixed with polka dots, mixed with stripes, mixed with zebra print. It may sound like too much on the surface but when you see them all combined together on a top the effect is stunning and striking. All you need to do is pair a printed shirt with a pair of denim shorts and you are good to go.

Kimono

A kimono embodies glamour, intrigue, and sensuality. It is ideal for summer because whilst it boasts long sleeves the material is still extremely light. A kimono doesn’t need dressing up either. All you need to do is stick on a plain vest dress, put your kimono on and you are good to go. After all, nobody likes to spend the majority of their vacation indoors getting ready when the sun is shining outside.

Don’t say it, wear it

Over the past few months you will have noticed a growth in the amount of t-shirts with sayings on them in shops. This is a trend that is only set to get more popular. You can team a t-shirt with a slogan on with a pair of neon coloured shorts or edge it up with a skater skirt. There are a huge number of sayings available, but here are some of the best spotted in stores today: “my way” – let them know who’s boss, “music is the answer” – perfect for the girl who likes to dance all night in the club, and “geek” – geek is the new chic.

Neon

There is no better way to showcase your tan then to wear a neon coloured top. The bright colours bring out the beautiful glow in your skin. This is a trend that is certainly suited to those who like to be bold and make an impression. If you are wearing neon then you can guarantee that all eyes will be on you. An important point to remember with neon is that you should let the top speak for itself. Don’t overdo it by adding more colours and prints to the equation. If you want to add some more depth to your outfit do it via a statement necklace.

Flower power

Nothing says summer like beautiful flowers. Floral patterns are highly fashionable and they work fantastically during the hot months. The great thing about floral is there is a print for everyone; from the really girly to the more edgy looks. This is a trend that is flirtatious and fun.

Author bio – Courtney Patterson is a fashion journalist. She used Glamorous to research for this article, thus to get more information click on this page.

Using the Eye Shadow Palette to Create the Finished Look

The eye shadow palette is one of the core weapons in the makeup artist’s arsenal. The eyes, as we all know, are windows to the soul. Eye shadow is used to frame those windows, inviting the onlooker in with a nod to a specific emotion or enhance the overall look and feel.

Smoky eye shades are perfect for creating a sultry look, and are often used to develop the wild eye looks that go with a fashion modelling shoot. Big Egyptian smears are currently trendy, a look that combines a classical heritage with the feeling that the model has been partying all night. This kind of distressed glamour has popped up in many of the seasonal perfume ads this year and is routinely seen in photo-shoots featuring the world’s top models.

The urban look is created very carefully, by taking an eye shadow palette that features sooty and smoky tones – not quite neutral or naked, but not far off. The idea in this case is to create a look that is almost a grotesque of a natural eye shadow depicting eyes that have been lived in, in the urban sense of the word.

Of course not all eye shadow is dark, or intended to give that urban Bohemian look – that is just the overriding fashion for model makeup at the moment. Mostly, the eye shadow palette is used with caution, as are all makeup’s and tones, to develop an enhanced, naturally glowing look for the subject.

Ordinarily, eye shadow is used to bring out the iris and pupil to make the eyes the centre of attention in the face. For daily wear, only neutral and natural tones are likely to be worn, though a tiny dash of sparkle can add an extra element of beauty to a person’s day face.

At night, the eye shadow palette comes into its own. Here shades are applied in concert with the colours of the outfit the person is wearing say colours that may either be completely complementary (as in blue for a blue dress), or slightly contrasting to bring the eyes out of the overall look.

In general terms, there will be a different eye shadow palette for the party effect than there is for natural looks. A party palette may be full of bright colours and glittery effects and the ways in which the eye shadow is applied may be significantly different as well. Stippling, smearing and bold lines are all par for the course with party eye shadow which is, after all, a variation on the model’s eye shadow we talked about earlier.

Blended eye shadow can take the idea of enhancing the eyes to its logical extreme – in some cases, by creating a whole band of colour across the top third of the face. Bright, deep eye shadow palette colours, blended out to a paler, glittering smear above the cheekbones can have an extraordinary effect. It’s almost as though the wearer is sporting a masquerade mask on her or his skin.

Pull Off Ripped Jeans In Any Occasion With These 5 Tips And Tricks!

There we have it ladies, the ripped jeans came back from the 90s and are hotter than ever! And, how else could it be since this jeans combine perfectly with any style, from the standard girlish sneakers and a street shirt to a feminine blouse and high heels. Not to mention the fact that regardless of how you choose to wear them, they will always add that touch of coolness to your style.

Moreover, I want to point out that distressed jeans are not for this season only. As far as I see it, there is a plethora of denim styles available for any occasion, while the trend has expanded rather quickly to shorts, skirts and jackets. Because they’re here to stay, it’s important that you pick the right one and follow these tips to “rock” them according to the occasion. Let’s explore the ways you too can wear a pair of distressed jeans on.

5 tips for pulling your trendy ripped jeans off

Perhaps the most important element to account for when shopping around for ripped jeans is when you’ll be wearing them. In spite of the fact that on numerous occasions distressed jeans are perceived as casual, certain models like the dark wash jeans could be worn to create a classy outfit and look. In addition to the overall appearance of the denim, there are other crucial factors to consider when selecting your pair of torn jeans and harnessing their full potential.

The level of distress

If you’re getting a pair of jeans that are torn from top to bottom, then you’ll always need to be careful about the way you’re wearing them. Essentially, a high number of rips means that accessories and sophisticated blouses are out of the questions, as you won’t obtain anything but a untidy, uncared for look. Moreover, if you do get such a pair of jeans, you need to think about whether or not you’re comfortable showing so much of your legs.

The style of the pants

More often than not, the style of the jeans needs to be picked based on your silhouette. In spite of the fact that skinny jeans are very popular these days, they may not be your best choice if you’re trying to hide your hips, butt and thighs. Therefore, if you want a pair of ripped jeans to flatter your body shape then it is best to check out the slightly baggier boyfriend ripped jeans.

Speaking of flattering the body, it is necessary to mention that a simple way to look slimmer or taller is to go for a pair with vertical rips. Essentially, if the tears were to hit the widest part of your thighs they will look wider than they are and make you seem shorter.

The location of the rip

While Rihanna can easily pull off a pair of torn jeans, don’t forget that she has an entire team of stylists to advise her on the best pieces of clothing that advantage her body shape. My advice in this case is to try on the jeans and see how the tears and distressed areas hit your body so you can avoid showing too much and feeling uncomfortable or embarrassed later on.

For instance, even though a tear right under the buttocks area looks sexy, you could very well discover that the rip is slightly higher and reveals too much. At the same time, you need to observe the way the ripped areas hit your legs, as the last thing you want is to have the jeans squeezing out parts of your thighs.

Accessories

If your jeans do not contain too many tears and ripped areas, then it is OK to employ accessories in order to make your outfit classier. However, if you’re trying to make your blouse the focal point of the outfit, it is best to stay away highly distressed jeans to avoid a cluttered look. If you want an example in this case, then think of Cameron Diaz, as she knows how to combine her distressed jeans with minimal, yet strong accessories (fedora hat, bangle bracelet, one color necklace, etc).

Shoes

Selecting the right pair of shoes to help you pull off your ripped jeans usually depends on the style you want to achieve. Even though most celebrities wear them with high heels, you should know that shoes with pointy toes simply make the jeans seem old and dull. On the other hand, combining the ripped jeans with platforms or shoes with wider heels will give you the fresh, trendy look that you were hoping to obtain.

Byline

Chad enjoys fashion and is recently enthusiastically blogging about the latest jeans trends for the ultimate street wear look. He recommends getting tops from Streetshirts to complete the whole look!

Best Nail Colours for Winter 2012

Winter’s coming round again girls, and as the days will be shorter there’s even more reason to stand out from the crowd, give yourself confidence and catch the eye of that guy. The colder weather gives us more time to think about how we make an impression, and as we know, your nails are now as important as hair as your crowning glory. Winter nail colours are traditionally brighter, putting some excitement into cosy days. Here’s a few tips to what’s trending in nail colours this coming season, get your nail care sets ready!

The fashion for nude clothes and accessories, made famous by Lady Gaga and other celebrities this year, is set to continue into winter. Not bright you might say? True- but nude gives you a sophisticated and relaxed look and still attracts the eye. The beige look can also be mixed with black if you want to make more of a statement.

How about silver? This really is a standout and shows that you know who you are. Metallic shines and reflects inner confidence. Gold is always a contender, but this year think silver if you want to be a little different.

Then of course there’s red- classic as seen in Mad Men. It really is a winner, and you can’t go wrong with the red. Once signifying danger, it’s now dependable and very attractive, feminine and womanly. For an adventurous new direction, why not raspberry? Fruity and fulsome, this gives a warm feeling in winter.

Blue? This is the legendary 60′s rock chick look, raunchy but also chic, think Vanessa Paradis, at home in the club in the early hours or a cafe next to the Seine. It really is back this winter, and some say that blue is becoming the new red in terms of classic status.

Then there’s chocolate, preferably dark. Also warm and inviting, let your cuticles melt in the eyes of that handsome guy. Fun, girly and yet self-assured, the darker the chocolate the better. On the other hand, there’s dark violet for nails that really make a statement and show that you’re on the trend.

Burgundy has been popular on the catwalks this summer and autumn, and this continues into winter nails. Rich and exuding depth, try pairing it with matching lipstick for that co-ordinated accessorised look. Sleek and understated, and great for evenings out.

For a colourful and reassuringly healthy-looking set of nails, try pale cranberry, much less full than classic red. It shouts vitality and soft-spoken stamina during the cold days and nights. Also great for this reason is burnt orange, a sexy look when the leaves are blowing on the ground.

For a more neutral look, try grey. This doesn’t have to be dull, especially if you choose a darker shade, and can be only just removed from silver in shine. It shows a woman who is very in control, and could be called a power shade.

So whether you are going to be painting the town red, luxuriating in emerald green, shining with silver, feeling cosy in dark chocolate, getting fruity with raspberry, burning in orange,or going nude, make this winter your best yet and let your nails make that effortless statement for you. Feel good from your cuticles to the tips of your toes and enjoy those winter parties and cosy girls’ nights in!

What Are the New Jewellery Lines This Month?

As the wheel of fashion turns new jewellery lines are regularly coming to fruition. As any dedicated jewellery junkie knows there is constantly an array of new lines being thrust upon the design world. Some of these are by dedicated artists and others are by dedicated artist who designs jewellery for other rich people. So what model, actress, or billionaire’s wife thinks she knows how to design a line of jewellery this month? Let’s find out.

Mattlin Era

Twilight star Nikki Reed has released a brand new jewellery line named after her paternal grandmother in a touching sentiment. Reed collaborated with jewellery designer Pascal Mouawad on this silver capsule collection. Mattlin Era’s debut line includes a pair of pill shaped earrings, a similarly shaped “Golden Humility Necklace” and a silver cuff that are all available for sale at Glamhouse. But there are no crosses because she has too many vampire friends.

Trunfio

International model Nicole Trunfio has decided to make a foray into the related world of jewellery design. 26 year old Australian model somehow found time to design the pieces in between lay outs for Dolce & Gabanna, Karl Langerfield, and Guess. Her new “minimalist yet edgy” jewellery line is composed largely from pieces in yellow-gold-, rose-gold-, and black-rhodium-plate sterling silver. The cuffs, earrings, necklaces, and bracelets feature metal studs in unusual places.

Swarovski Keys

Yoko Ono and Swarovski recently signed a deal for her new fall line of Swarovski crystal embossed keys and key pendants. Admittedly an actual artist, Yoko Ono has delved into many mediums such as music, performance, sculpture, film, and painting. The new key cut line from Swarovski Elements is designed around the theme “Unlocking the door to a better life.” It is inspired by her commitment to pacifism and a childhood spent in post WWII Japan.

There are in fact new jewellery lines being released by actual fashion designers this month as well.

Catherine Baba

Catherine Baba released her first ever jewellery line this month in collaboration with noted jeweller Maison Gripoix established 1868. Like the French designer’s clothing the jewellery line is heavily influenced by her taste for the vintage and the decadent. As such, the jewellery is conveniently intended to be piled on. The gold plated, glass baubles come in scarlet red, azure blue, and absinthe green. They are embossed with designs from the works of Yeats, Oscar Wilde, Lord Byron, and illustrator Aubrey Beardsley.

Rachel Zoe

American stylist Rachel Zoe is launching her new jewellery line at Neman Marcus this month. The art deco line consists of golden tassels and knots studded with crystals and quartz in ring, necklace, and bracelet form. According to Zoe in a statement made to the New York Times, they reflect her outlandish personality, as she has never been very subtle. The new Long End Tassel Necklace can be draped around the neck as though it were a scarf, and it matches nearly everything. Rachel Zoe is the stylist best known for her Bravo series.

Guest article by Joel Mayer about http://celestejewellery.com.au, creators of beautiful Jewellery.

Leather’s Eternal Fascinations – 5 Leather Jacket Styles To Consider

Similar to the little black dress, the leather jacket constitutes the men’s version of clothing items that will never go out of style. Surprisingly or not, a fashion event would simply not seem right, unless the designers send out a few models wearing leather jackets, in various colors and a plethora of styles. In short, it appears that men will never get tired of seeing the almighty leather jacket on stage.

Ever since it made its appearance in the 1950s, the leather jackets didn’t go by unnoticed and became the iconic clothing preferred by the world’s greatest artists. From Elvis Presley and The Beatles to Duran Duran and Oasis, the leather jacket has always mesmerized and conveyed a strong impression and things are not any differently today. Let’s check out the celebrity-inspired leather jacket styles that men prefer today.

The hooded leather jacket

Even though the hooded leather jacket has quite an interesting style and is rather handy during fall and winter, if you are past your teens, then you should stay clear of designs and colors that could be classified as “too daring”. I’m sure that some of the elder gentlemen would definitely fancy the idea of reclaiming the wild years of youth by wearing such a jacket. On the other hand, I’ll have to warn you that instead of making yourself appear cool, all you will manage achieve is an eccentric look. The bottom line is that the hooded leather jacket addresses the young lads who normally prefer coupling it with baggy jeans.

The Aviator style leather jacket

What was originally a practical garment designed to keep pilots warm at high altitudes during the Second World War has nowadays become an indispensable item for all those who enjoy the military style. In spite of the fact that the nostalgia of the “wartime fashion” is mostly associated with the Aviator leather jacket, it is important to note that you can’t go wrong with it when trying to create a vintage attire, particularly if you combine it with military boots and acid washed jeans. However, due to the padding this jacket comes with, it is not the ideal choice for chubbier guys since it’s not really flattering this body type.

The Bomber style leather jacket

In all fairness, the Bomber is typically viewed by designer as an extension of the Aviator and some even state that it is actually the original Aviator style jacket. While it is true that the Bomber style leather jacket can be worn by all men, regardless of shape and age, the truth is that how you combine it with the other garments is what actually matters in the end. For instance, if you are the “proud” owner of a skinny upper body, then choosing a Bomber with an elastic strap at the waist is a surefire way of making your shoulder look broader. On the other hand, if you have a curvy figure, then a loose-fit Bomber with a large zipper will work best in your case.

The Biker leather jacket

As any metal fan will tell you, the Biker jacket is a standout piece of clothing and a fashion statement on its own. How else could it be perceived considering that it was first made popular by Marlon Brandon? Even though it is associated with the metal music genre, it does not automatically mean that fans of different music genres are not allowed to wear it. However, it’s probably a good idea to stay away from biker gangs. More often than not, this leather jacket goes quite well on skinny guys, especially when combined with a pair of slim black jeans and ankle boots. In addition, it is also a great jacket for elder men who are not so proud of their bodies anymore, since it breaks up the silhouette and makes them look thinner.

The colored/tan leather jacket

If you concluded that your wardrobe needs a bit of color in it, then you should consider checking out the various styles provided by the colored leather jackets. However, I feel compelled to tell you that the daring colors of the jacket are going to attract a lot of attention, so if you are rather shy and don’t want to stand out, this is not the ideal type of leather jacket for you. Nonetheless, if you love having all eyes on you, then the best way to achieve your goal is to combine it with contrastingly colored pants.

Byline

Chad enjoys blogging about men fashion trends and style and he is particularly fond of the versatility of the urban clothing style.

What’s Trending in Materials, Styling and Brands for Modern Men

Modern men are more body conscious than ever. In a world where manscaping is part of the male vernacular, and hours are spent in the gym crafting the perfect physique in an effort to keep up with the guy across the weights, men’s underwear has evolved to fit these new roles. Plain, baggy, shapeless – and quite frankly sexless – men’s boxers are no longer the standard under attire for most men. Instead, low-rise briefs, trunks, and the ever-popular, hybrid boxer brief continue to be trendy styles.

Men are dressing in underwear that is as much for them as it is for who is going to see them. The newest trends in underwear for men reflect a desire for more sophisticated materials and enhanced styling to pattern how men will use them. At the same time, traces of traditional features can still be seen.

Classic details with a modern spin

Cotton has been – and most likely always will be – the fabric of choice in men’s underwear. The breathability of cotton has provided comfort and coolness forever. The modern spin on this breathable quality is reflected in the use of moisture-wicking material, which gives this same airy cool in a hi-tech way that seems to be working while being worn.

Classically, seams were sewn without attention to movement. By paying more attention to seaming – double seaming and placing them in more strategic places – better fit without gaping around the legs and waist is achieved.

The simplicity of black, white and grey has not been abandoned, but instead splashes of color in logos and lettering are the details that stand out. Cotton has evolved to more luxurious iterations that take comfort to a whole new level.

Material that is trending

Elastane. Modal. Bamboo. These three fabrics have changed the way men think and feel about their underwear. Elastane and modal are microfibers, which are synthetic textiles that are softer, more elastic, will recover from stretching, and are better suited to dyeing than cotton.

Often these microfibers are used in combination with cotton, creating fabric that is truly the modern textile for men’s underwear. Bamboo is often paired with cotton as well to craft a durable garment that stands up to modern use. Rayon and spandex have increased in use too.

Form and function: The evolution of style

Increasingly, men like to show off what they’ve got. As a result, bold colors, graphic patterns, and form-enhancing contouring are the current developments. Men are not afraid of color and are opting for shades of every color in the rainbow, although jewel tones and darker hues are trending. Bold stripes add to a man’s style, while pouches are cut to be anatomically correct for more support and sex appeal.

Top designers

Not only are designers reflecting these current trends in their collections, but they know how to market their messages of confidence and sexiness to their consumers. Calvin Klein has long been the name in men’s underwear. He has managed to hold onto this status with his Micro Modal and Pro Stretch Reflex lines, which are in-keeping with the athletic man who can transition from the gym to a night out easily.

Who didn’t want to don a pair of Emporio Armani underwear after seeing David Beckham sell them with confidence? Emporio Armani has managed to make a name for itself in men’s underwear with that campaign, and stay atop the pack with underwear that celebrates masculinity.

Andrew Christian has an affinity for comfortable underwear that shows off the best of the male body. 2xist Touch and C-IN2 Pop Stripes and Pop Colors are top choices, which are a celebration of form-fitting, colorful, and sporty underwear for men.

While new men’s underwear is not reinventing the wheel, it is the bellwether of a shifting paradigm of masculinity and intrinsic maleness that is the modern man.

Atlanta Boutiques Remain Unique and Affordable

When shopping at Atlanta boutiques, one will find the fashion taste unavailable in other places – a unique fashion that only in Atlanta exists. By checking out the malls in the state, you will notice different boutiques both small and huge shops. Some boutiques sell signature items of well-known designers while some items came from popular brands.

The best thing about having different boutiques is that one will be able to look for a shop which suits his or her taste. In other words, shoppers will always have the courage to look for the item they want because they have a lot of shops to choose from. All they have to do is look for an item, browse the prices, and then compare each deal from different shops.

It is very natural for the locals to suggest their favorite Atlanta boutiques; however, the best option is to make a list of yours because your style is different from theirs. Each one of us has their own taste when it comes to fashion that is why relying on mere recommendation alone will never satisfy your style.

To make sure that what you chose fits your style, you have to check your satisfaction with the item’s design, price, and brand.Still, it is best to get some information from locals to know where you can exactly go for a fresh start. Some would even recommend the Atlantic Station where you can visit a lot of shops ranging from small to larger ones. By checking this variety of shops, people have the options to spend from $5 to $100 depending upon the budget they settled for shopping purposes. His is why Atlanta boutiques are the perfect spot for people who love to bargain prices.

A lot of Atlanta boutiques offer well-known designer clothes while some sell designs originally from fashion districts such as New York and Los Angeles. Although affordable, these boutiques compete with popular shops in the country because of the quality standards they give to their customers. In other words, the cheap prices do not define the quality of items being sold in these shops. It is vital to remember that items manufactured in the country’s well-known fashion district have almost the same quality once compared to high-end brands in the fashion industry. In simple terms, you are trying to avoid spending for the brand name.

In addition, you have to identify what specific style you are interested the most. You do not have to worry about the brand, what matters most is the design and budget you currently have. Most companies from fashion districts assure all their retailers that nothing will be delivered except for high quality products. Keep in mind that well-known fashion companies started as reputable shops in fashion districts first before they managed to reach the top spot.

It is still important to do a little research before jumping out into the open and look for atlanta boutiques. This way, it will not be quite difficult to start an efficient shopping spree. Look some information from magazines or online. This will make any shopping a lot easier.

How To Dress for a Party

All you stylish fashionistas out there are probably wondering why on earth there is a need for instructions on how to dress for a party. Surely you just head to your nearest designer wear department store, pick up the dress that sparkles the most with the highest price tag, some matching heels, a contrasting handbag and you’re done.

Well, not all of us can afford the luxury of the latest top designer items – and frankly, they are not always the best. There is more to selecting a perfect party outfit than just having Dolce and Gabbana inscribed on your label.

Do Your Research

If you want to be ahead of the fashion curve with your party outfit, then you need to know a thing or two about the latest looks. Get inspiration from style magazines, online style websites and the latest runway shows. You can also refer to Twitter for the latest advice from style icons such as Rachel Zoe and Emma Watson. Once you have gathered together your ideas, it is time to start shopping.

The Browsing Stage

There is no harm in starting your search in a top designer department store such as Selfridges and Harvey Nichols. This again helps you gain inspiration and shows you the latest styles that are available to purchase, fresh from the catwalks. It’s also great to try on these luxurious garments as this will have one of two effects. The first is that it will set the bar for your perfect party outfit. If you find something that really suits you, then you know what type of style and fit to go for. The second outcome is that you will find that none of the dresses are quite as spectacular as you imagined.

You then have a number of options. If the designer dresses were for you, try designer outlets, where you can get fabulous garments at a fraction of the price. Be aware that many of the items are last season’s looks, but if you are going for something plain, such as the Little Black Dress option, this shouldn’t have too much of an effect.

The other place to try is the high street. Of course, these are clothing stores that knock out thousands of garments quite cheaply. The down side is that there is more of a risk of the dreaded same dress moment occurring as they produce many more of the same items to reach the masses. On the plus side, high street stores are getting much better at reproducing the latest looks a lot more quickly. You are likely to be able to find items very similar to the designer dresses you tried on and as long as they fit you correctly, will look every bit as good.

Proceeding to Purchase

When you are settled upon the look you want to achieve, it is time to move to purchase. Before you do, check to see whether you can find further discounts online to help you get additional money off at the store you wish to buy from. Any savings can be put towards accessories.

Accessorising

Accessorising is the key to delivering the final touches to the perfect outfit. You must get a sense of what accessories will match your outfit. Team leather and beads with bohemian looks, silver and sparkles with black and satin outfits and pearls with ‘50s floral styles. Accessories should be complementary, and not take over the whole outfit. They should bring out your best features and pick out the highlights of the dress. A black dress with red details will look fabulous with red accessories and shoes. If you really want to stand out, go for contrasting colours, but take care not to produce an ugly combination. There are few women who can get away with red and green.

Upon Arrival

When you arrive at your party, looking glamorous and polished, remember to wear your outfit with pride. Stand tall and project confidence and this make you look fabulous, whatever the occasion.

Rita Rova writes for Love My Vouchers, the UK discount and voucher code site that helps you to dress fabulously, whatever your budget.

5 Times Not to Wear Skinny Jeans

Jeans are the McDonald’s of fashion: ubiquitous, American and available in a variety of sizes. Ever since Levi Strauss first put rivets on denim, blue jeans have steadily taken over the world’s wardrobe: a fashion trend putting all others – hoop skirts, Elizabethan collars, airbrushed wolf sweatshirts – to shame.But, as crazy as it sounds, blue jeans are not appropriate everywhere. I know it’s hard to believe. But below are 5 times not to wear jeans. Some have caveats, others do not – though I suppose the rationale “because you look like a moron” isn’t dissuading to all.

On Trial for Murder
A good criminal defense attorney refines his client’s image. This is often done via haircuts, new suits and the spackling of meth mouth. Jeans, however, are not part of this makeover. Denim may not scream “guilty!” but it does suggest a one-way ride on Old Sparky isn’t scaring you in the least.

Attending a Wedding
Unless you are in Alabama (or the band Alabama), jeans have no place in a nuptial celebration. There are people who feel denim is appropriate and impossible to overdo – but these people generally also think midnight head shavings are de rigueur.

Playing at Wimbledon
Can you imagine Serena Williams trying to hit volleys in a pair of skinny jeans? Probably not (nor should you want to). Besides restricting movement and inspiring buckets of perspiration, denim’s splitting potential is off-the-charts. The last thing you want is the line judge looking at your back court.

Giving Birth
Having a baby is tough enough, but having a baby while wearing a pair of jeans? We’re talking water-into-wine-level tough here. Between snotty nurses and annoying, video camera-wielding husbands, the last thing anyone wants is to be messing with a button fly during the big push.

Time Travelling
Jeans are a 20th century fashion; the surest way to out yourself to fellow time travelers is to sport the wrong duds. Now pantaloons might not be your idea of Prêt à Porter, but if you want to avoid the Terminators, you’ll just need to suck it up.

Katie Fetting-Schlerf is a freelance writer from Seattle who wears jeans (www.luckybrand.com) every day. After losing Wimbledon, she was convicted of capital murder – neither of which would have happened if she’d just ditched the denim. Learn from her mistakes.

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